Welcome
Please come in
Conversation food and laughs
Friendship offered
Time passes
Chats at the coffee shop
Texts abound
A return invite not found
Knocking at my door
Welcome yet again
At my door
Looking for the other door
Where you will welcome me
Why do people ask questions at work? Is it because they weren’t paying attention? Might they be new to a job or process? Could they be curious? Is it possible they are seeking to understand before offering an idea?
Think about the last five questions people at work have asked you:
Did it matter who was asking the question, when or how the question was asked? Did you respond differently according to the who, when, or how?
Now, think about the last five questions YOU asked others at work.
What was your reason for asking those questions? Were the responses given in a way you were expecting?
Being asked questions is a daily part of the work environment; it’s important to consider the impact of how we hear, react, and respond to questions asked of us during our busy day.
Your response to questions has the power to encourage – and discourage – others from asking questions and perhaps seeking your input in the future. Are you seeing the gift in the questions being asked of you?
Communication is loud, whether through words, actions, or silence. After a return to the corporate world, the concept of ‘voice’ has been a consistent source of reflection; the voice that is heard and the voice that is not. Where can you use your voice? Where do you make yourself heard?
At work, every one has a role to play. Part of the reason we were hired is to bring our voice as a contribution to ‘getting things done’. There is the the voice of expertise in a skill that you bring, but just as importantly, there is the voice of accountability. Consider a few common workplace scenarios – do any of these questions resonate for you?
Scenario 1: When you’re on a work team, and others are not doing what they said they’d do.
Scenario 2: When you collaborate with others on a project, and credit is given to only one person.
Scenario 3: When you see something broken or have an idea for improvement on a process, a team dynamic, a product.
These and countless other scenarios allow your voice – or your silence – to be heard. Consider the impact your voice has on yourself, and on others in the workplace.
The voice of accountability comes with many choices. The choice to speak, to act, to be silent, to not respond. Each of these choices contributes to your voice in the workplace.
What is your voice?
Today marks three years of being “back inside.” Working as an employee inside of an organization, that is, after 7 years of being an “outside” consultant as an owner of my own learning & development firm. First, let me acknowledge that I am forever grateful for having the space & opportunity to choose – I chose to become a consultant, and I chose to return to corporate. I kept a journal for the first year of both experiences, and spent a bit of time reading through my reflections, and here is the first of several:
#1: Team is what you make it. Trust is essential. One of the downsides of being a consultant is that you may not have a team to work with on a daily basis; there is a necessary boundary between consultant & client that is different from peer work teams.
Team is a feeling of trust, camaraderie, whether you are on the outside, or on the inside. The Center for Creative Leadership shares a model for team trust based on the Three C’s: Trust in Capability, Trust in Character, Trust in Communication (https://www.ccl.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/why-trust-is-critical-team-success-research-report.pdf).
No matter where your “team” is formed – on the inside or the outside, your sense of belonging, cultural fit, and commitment is affected by how you answer these questions about yourself and your team:
One of the main reasons I rejoined the corporate world was for the sense of team – a set of shared experiences of people who work together toward a common goal. In the end, I (re) learned that team is what you make it.
Sometimes, we don’t “get things right” on the first, second, or even multiple attempts. How do you keep persevering when things aren’t going your way, or seem more challenging than you expected?
Recently I attended my son’s 7th grade basketball game. Both teams just began their seasons within the last 2 weeks, and were pretty evenly matched opponents. It was a close score throughout the game.
If you’ve spent time watching or participating in sports, you have probably experienced a game where an athlete appears to be having an “off” game.
My son was having one of those days on the offense side of his performance. His defensive game was fantastic, resulting in several steals and assists toward teammate’s scoring buckets. On the other hand, he could not seem to score a basket on any of his own shot attempts! One time, the basketball circled the rim nearly a full 360 degrees before falling off – no points other than via free throws. His smirk of chagrin and quick shake of the head showed he was well aware of his struggle during his several attempts for a basket.
The game went into overtime. At the end of overtime, it was still tied. The teams then compete via “sudden death”, where the first team to score becomes the winner of the game. The other team had the ball first, but missed their shot. Back down the court they went. The ball passed from my son to a teammate, and the shot was missed. Our team rebounded the ball, and passed it to my son.
He took the shot. Swish. His team won! The team was excited and rushed him on the court. His perseverance to keep playing his best, to keep taking the shot, was critical during a pressure situation.
No matter what, keep shooting. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
I was born with a hearing loss. As a kid, I wore hearing aids in both ears, and as one might imagine, the teasing was merciless. I will never forget my first day of high school as a 13 year old, walking into my first period history class and Sam, a boy on whom I had a crush, saying loudly, “Hey look! It’s the deaf girl!”
Wearing hearing aids was not high on my list as a teen, and I did not wear them all through my undergraduate days, though I could have used them in those 100+ people lecture halls. The moment I realized I didn’t care anymore that I have only 60% hearing in one ear, and 68% in the other? The day I became a parent. I didn’t want to not be able to hear my son calling me, or be able to hear school performances (microphones and large echoing gymnasiums are not my friend when it comes to being able to hear). Now, I don’t care who knows: I sometimes struggle to hear.
The reality? According to the National Institute for Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/pages/quick.aspx ), one in eight people in the United States aged 12 years or older has hearing loss in both ears, based on standard hearing examinations.
That being said, in the spirit of creating increased awareness, I offer a few tips for the workplace that may help all people have better heard conversations:
1. Ups and Downs. Avoid conversations in stairwells where heels are clacking, many people are using the stairs at the same time, and you are unable to look at the person to whom you’re speaking.
2. Flush First! Please do not have work-related conversations while in the restroom. It’s uncomfortable for many reasons, poor acoustics aside.
3. Music/Other Background Noises. Conversations or presentations where people are speaking with music in the background can make it difficult to hear. Consider this when having work conversations or designing training programs or eLearning courses with music accompanying audio.
4. Whispering Woes. If you need to share some information that you don’t want everyone to hear, don’t whisper in the cubicle; find a place to have the conversation privately so that you can speak in a normal tone and volume.
5. Phone Ps & Qs. On conference calls, hold each other accountable for practicing good phone etiquette, such as: muting the phone when not speaking, saying your name before stating your comment (not all people can differentiate voices easily), and not having side conversations that mute the speaker’s voice.
6. ABCs and 123s. A simple way to ensure people are getting the right information is to, where possible, say numbers and letters in such a way that there is no mistaking them. For example, B and P (or S and F) may sound alike via the phone or even in person, to someone with a hearing difficulty. Why not say, “B as in Boy, P as in Popsicle?” Consider numbers: Nine-five-two, fifty-six-oh-three. I have to ask, did you say “5 – 6-0-3, or 6-6-03?” When giving directions, say, “get off the elevator on floor 5” rather than “fifth” floor.
7. Check In vs. Call Out. If you are aware that a person on your team has a hearing loss, check in with him/her on occasion to see if how things are working is in a way that they can hear. It’s not necessary to single out the person in a meeting by saying, “Gabriella, can you hear?” (This happens more than one might think.)
8. Face Time. On occasion, I am asked, “Are you ok? You look mad.” I had a boss ask me this after a conference room meeting filled with many attendees, plus those on speaker phone. I was so surprised. Actually, I had been concentrating so hard to hear that apparently my brows were furrowed. I work very hard not to do this now; I am not always successful, but at least my boss understood that my face meant, “focused” and not “furious.” Have you ever learned a foreign language? Had to concentrate so hard just to understand what the speaker was saying? That is my reality, particularly in situations where acoustics are poor, or the setting is made up of many competing sounds. Which leads me to #9.
9. Be curious. You may be amazed the things you learn from someone who has a physical difficulty. For example, I often hear BETTER than others in a crowded cafeteria where I am facing the person to whom I’m listening, because I read lips. I will never forget the graduate advisor who thanked me for teaching him about what a person goes through to get accommodation when he/she can’t hear in a university setting. I never thought about it that way before, and it reinforced my resolve to never be ashamed to say, “I’m having trouble hearing you. Can we have this conversation when we get to the bottom of the stairs?”
Yes, I have a hearing loss. Yes, I am listening, and I want to hear you and be successful in my working relationships. Will you hear me?
When you are walking in a public place in a group, what happens when you see another group coming toward you? Do you:
Some people tend to be the ones who flex to allow others to have room on the sidewalk, while others tend to be the ones who want others to have to flex around them. Other people make room for both groups to be on the sidewalk, and others do nothing to acknowledge or flex to incoming groups.
This same attitude translates into daily work life. Let’s ask the question this way: When new teams and/or individuals join your organization, or join a project team, how do you flex your behavior so that both of you know where you “fit” on the sidewalk? Do you:
Ask yourself these questions, and then ask your team. Ask those outside your team how they see interactions with your group. Are there cracks in the sidewalk? Ask yourselves, does anyone deserve more or less space on the sidewalk?
There is an old saying that goes like this; “out of the mouths of babes, oft times come gems,” which essentially means that children have been known to say insightful things. Recently, my
Recently, my eight-year-old son and I took advantage of a beautiful day to take the dog for a long walk. During our walk, the subject of the previous night’s basketball practice arose.
My son was describing strategies, positions, reactive strategies, and many other pieces of information about how the game of basketball is played.
My son was describing strategies, positions, reactive strategies, and many other pieces of information about how the game of basketball is played. After about 20 minutes of chatter about such things, peppered with my questions, I said, “Wow, Logan! You really have to keep a lot of things in mind at the same time. I don’t know how you remember all of that in the midst of a game.”
His answer certainly surprised me. “Well, mom,” said Logan, “you see, it’s really easy. You know your brain, it’s pretty big. So what I do when I have a game or practice is, I bring all the basketball stuff to the front of my brain. I take all the other stuff out, and shove it to the back of my brain, so it doesn’t get in the way.”
I asked him, “How do you do that?” The answer was, “Well, I just focus really hard on what I am doing – it gets easier to just pull it (the basketball “stuff) to the front after you practice it for a while. Then, you just play basketball and everything is clear.”
Did my son just describe the concept of attention density in an amazingly simple story?
What we choose to focus on is where the increased density of our attention occurs. It’s no secret that allowing ourselves to be distracted by emails, texts, phone, or meetings can impact our ability to be productive and make decisions.
Neuroscience research shows that we actually can make circuitry changes in the brain with our thinking patterns. Attention density is a way of focusing on something to come to a decision or increased clarity.
A simple example of this is the experience we often have after we purchase a new car, or even a new cellphone. Suddenly, we see our exact same car or cell phone everywhere, because now we are paying attention to that item.
What we choose to focus on is where the increased density of our attention occurs. It’s no secret that allowing ourselves to be distracted by emails, texts, phone, or meetings can impact our ability to be productive and make decisions. Neuroscience research shows that we actually can make circuitry changes in the brain with our thinking patterns. Attention density is a way of focusing on something to come to a decision or increased clarity. A simple example of this is the experience we often have after we purchase a new
How might this idea of attention density impact how we design learning materials? For that matter, how might it impact the way we allow our teams to structure their day? The idea of time for reflection and focus during our work and learning processes is where I see the potential for increasing attention density.
To learn more about the fascinating research on neuroscience and attention density and its implications for business, innovation and leadership, access the Neuroleadership Institute. For myself, when I find myself needing to focus, I now mentally picture myself pulling information to the front of my brain, and shoving the irrelevant information “to the back.”
The new year is almost here. Have you loaded your organization’s annual holidays into your calendar yet? Of course you have. This next question is a bit more challenging. How does your organization work with contingent staff when it comes to holidays where the office is closed?
At first glance, the answer may appear obvious; everybody knows what days organizations are typically closed, right?
Not so fast. Here are some additional tips to ensure your organization and your external staff are on the same page for the holidays:
At the end of the day, it is important that the project owner and the contingent staff are clear about the expectations of availability before, during, and after the holiday(s).
Contractors do not typically get paid for holidays as they are not working, but may assume they can still work 40 hours that week. You may be assuming they will not bill 40 hours that week. To avoid disappointment in an otherwise fabulous organization-consultant relationship, have the conversation before the day the office is closed.
